Imagine this: You donate to a crowdfunding campaign to save a friend’s life, only to find out—mid-surgery—that their insurance finally approved the procedure. Now, the money you gave is no longer needed for medical bills. But here’s where it gets controversial: Is it ethical for your friend to donate those funds to a nonprofit instead of returning them to donors? And this is the part most people miss—even if they mentioned this plan in their initial plea, does it sit right with you?**
DEAR READER: Let’s break this down. While your friend technically disclosed their intentions, the situation raises questions about transparency and trust. If you feel misled, it’s valid to address it—politely, of course. But brace yourself for pushback. They might argue the money is going to a good cause, or even claim it’s helping their recovery (hopefully not at a luxury resort!). The real issue? This could sour future fundraising efforts for others in need. Bold question for you: Should donors have a say in how leftover funds are used, or is it entirely up to the recipient? Let’s discuss in the comments—I’m curious to hear your take.
Now, onto a lighter scenario: You’re at work, minding your own business, when a cherry tomato decides to take a wrong turn down your windpipe. Two coworkers leap into action, performing the Heimlich maneuver, while another soothes you with a cold compress. And this is the part most people miss: Saying 'thank you' doesn’t have to be complicated. A heartfelt in-person gratitude or a handwritten note will do. But here’s a fun twist—Miss Manners suggests turning your gratitude into office legend. Casually (but sincerely) mention their heroism at meetings or parties. It’s a win-win: they get the recognition they deserve, and you become the office storyteller everyone loves.
Got a burning etiquette question? Reach out to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com, email her at dearmissmanners@gmail.com, or send snail mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106. Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners, is the go-to authority on etiquette, with a Wellesley College degree in English and a career spanning decades as a columnist and author. Her advice? Always worth listening to—even when it challenges your perspective.
